GRIEF.

/ɡrēf/: a multifaceted response to loss, particularly to the loss of someone or something that has died, to which a bond or affection was formed. Although conventionally focused on the emotional response to loss, it also has physical, cognitive, behavioral, social, cultural, spiritual and philosophical dimensions

Synonyms: sorrow, misery, sadness, anguish, pain, heartache

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There’s no parade of sympathy for the restless. My mind is shrouded in grief and anxiety. The why’s and how’s lie with the deceased. Cold. Still.

I’m crying at work. I’m crying at home.

The arms of the angels don’t cover me in real time. Human warmth and comfort heal. Loneliness begets doubt. Is there ANYTHING I could have done? Said?

I’ve been in the place he was before. The emptiness can’t be explained accurately enough. The despair crying behind the mask of a happy man. I feel what he felt for him. – We all do. Loss.

He lost himself in the maze of uncertainty. Feeling out of whack, out of place, out of hope. Young, Black, and Gifted- my friend was no waste of life.

To say say he was a good man is a vast understatement. Compassionate, responsible, empathetic. Fun, charismatic, goal-oriented. There’s no way to bring you back. I can only replay your smile on a reel. I’m so sorry this happened.

To say you’re in a better place is cliche. This world sucks, but it’s even worse when angels drop their wings to march home. You were tired. You felt no one would understand your weaknesses. You alone carried the pain.

I grieve your pain now. We all do.

Rest in peace. For eternity.